|
|
2003-12-09 - 6:43 a.m. you know, it's really cold out. i wonder why i write in this thing. I don't think anyone reads it or cares. If you read this, sign the guestbook..let me know that at least someone reads my rantings. i don't know what's going on in my life anymore. And i don't know how to get it under control. i know how to get the pain so that i can deal with it...but i don't want to do that. Actually, i do, i do very much, but...i shouldn't. i can't. i don't know. i don't know what to do. i need things to go back to normal. but what is normal? the last time things felt normal was probably the second grade. and even then i was not a happy child. My decision to ot go to penn and to study theater and music instead of french has lifted some weight off of my shoulders, but not enough. I need my friends. I need all of my friends the way it used to be. But that'll never happen. people change. people grow apart. and i don't like it. it's scary. I don't like it at all. Mostly because it's something i can't control. So what do i do? what can i do? i can sit here and watch my world crumble under my feet. downward spiral....
|