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2003-08-15 - 3:15 p.m. So the summer drags on, but it will be over too quickly. I went to the Harry awards last night. It was really weird being back at Summer Stage. I mean, a year ago, or even a few months ago I would have given anything to be there, it's all I wanted. But now I think I've become too cynical for the magic of Summer Stage. A reference was made last night to bottling up the magic and drinking it. If only it were real. I almost don't want to be onstage anymore. it's weird, but I was thinking about it last night, and I actually shrank from the idea of being onstage again, which is really weird for me. I just want to go back to doing tech and feeling like I've accomplished something. I can't stand actors. Maybe it's because I can't stad the thought that I used to be like that, all perky and irritating. I just want to disappear into the shop or the attic, the cats for hours like i did last year. I got my paint clothes out of the shop the other day. Ahh, the happiness of paint pants. i know what set every color of paint is from, too. I'll be the only senior on crew next year..responsibilty yay! ...and getting yelled at by Matt. Maybe another year of Summer Stage has cooled him down, but from what I saw last night, I won't get my hopes up. I don't even know how much time I'll have for tech next year, especially with 3 AP classes and Encores. So sad. that's all for now, more depressing musings later.
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